


Day By Day

by ShatteredSwallowtail



Series: Taming Dragons [18]
Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-07
Updated: 2020-07-07
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:41:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25121824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShatteredSwallowtail/pseuds/ShatteredSwallowtail
Relationships: Aymeric de Borel/Estinien Wyrmblood
Series: Taming Dragons [18]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1733218
Kudos: 24





	Day By Day

Bringing Yasha along with him had become a habit for Estinien, tolerating the girl’s presence as she refused to hold his hand like a normal child and instead clung to his back like some sort of overly large leech. Small hands curled around the edges of his armour and her weight somehow supported by the feet she jammed into his kidneys. Prior attempts at dislodging her had resulted in her simply waiting until he wasn’t looking to scramble up him like some sort of kitten climbing a tree and it was just easier not to argue. He was learning that such a mindset seemed to be quite common when dealing with children. Yasha had no sense of logic, and trying to reason with her was only mildly less frustrating than trying to reason with Snowball. At least _she_ didn’t try to flay him alive. Besides… Aymeric enjoyed seeing her, and as much as he would have denied it to anyone who asked... he made a point to give his husband anything he wanted that was in his power to provide.

Pushing open the door without bothering to knock - as if he ever had before - he slipped into the small room with his version of a friendly nod directed towards Lucia. She was the only guest he permitted in here besides himself and Yasha. Not because the chirurgeons had ordered it, or even because Aymeric wanted it that way...but because she and he were of the same mindset. Namely that of keeping his husband from having his way when it came to his work. As soon as he was able to sit up in bed, Aymeric had begun insisting that there was no reason he couldn’t conduct nearly all of his business affairs from his sickbed and Estinien had been inwardly grateful that Lucia had agreed with him on how ridiculous the notion was. Of course, to her credit, she had been more tactful in her disagreement. His own retort had gotten him thrown out of the room by the chirurgeons for being ‘disruptive’ and he’d had no choice but to go and work out some frustration by soundly trouncing a half dozen of the newer dragoon recruits.

But he trusted Lucia, not the least because she was his current assistant in the grand campaign of ‘Keep Aymeric In Bed and Resting Until Healed’ but because she’d already proven what side she was on. It had been a very different Estinien who had, the night after Aymeric’s injury, stolen into the Vault where Lucia herself had been placed in charge of guarding the man who had nearly killed his husband. Even through his earring’s glamour, he didn’t doubt she’d seen the fire in his eyes as he’d stalked up to her and demanded to know where the man was. And knowing full well what he’d planned, she had simply locked a cool green gaze on his and informed him that he was in the third cell down and that if he could only wait for a short 10 minutes she would be back and show him herself. Before excusing herself to ‘run a quick errand’.

Her unspoken meaning had not been lost on him and he had offered a bow to her before she closed the door and he’d set about the business he had come there for. Pulling off the earring and gently tucking it away into his pocket as he’d reached within himself for that pulsing darkness. That remnant of Nidhogg that would always remain. Not even Aymeric knew how much control he truly had over it. And while he was unable to completely banish the outward physical effects - other than the wings, which thankfully seemed willing to be willed away - calling on them to manifest further was far easier. Growing the horns, sending more scales rippling across his skin, turning teeth and nails into claws and fangs...that was easy when he allowed the rage to consume him. If he wanted it badly enough...it could overtake him completely. And though he’d feigned little more than mild interest the next day when word spread of how the culprit had been somehow been torn apart by some sort of animal while still in his cell, he knew Lucia knew the truth and kept it to herself.

Aymeric’s expression brightened significantly as the pair entered and Yasha scrambled down from Estinien’s back and up onto his bed to curl up beside him. Brandishing a picture book at him as she stuck out her lower lip. “Papa, story!” Though both Aymeric and Lucia’s eyes widened at her words, Estinien only snorted in amusement. Somehow, he wasn’t sure that she didn’t think ‘papa’ referred to any adult male who was taking care of her and he commented as much as he watched his husband uncharacteristically stumble over his words before obediently opening the book as Yasha settled into his lap and he began to read.

“He looks good with her like that.”

Lucia’s voice was soft beside him, obviously low so as not to interrupt the rather tender moment as his husband read to the little girl, and Estinien nodded his agreement. She was right...and something about that scared the hell out of him. He’d agreed to care for the girl for Aymeric’s sake and he didn’t want to acknowledge that he himself was becoming more and more invested in her wellbeing. And all because she’d put on his twelves-damned helm and tried to stab a paper dragon with a makeshift lance. There was a conversation to be had with Aymeric and it wasn’t one that he looked forward to. Not so much because he suspected it would be unpleasant...but because he was rather certain he already knew his husband’s mind where Yasha was concerned. As certain as he was that Aymeric would try to deny it.

“I know. He has patience for children.”

One blonde brow raised slightly at his reply and she almost looked as though she wanted to roll her eyes before she spoke again. “So do you, I would assume. Or else she wouldn’t be here.” With a nod towards Aymeric, she cocked her head to the side. “When he’s done reading, do you want me to entertain her for awhile so you can have some time alone with him?” She left it unspoken that regardless of how well he was managing, Estinien wasn’t used to children and had to be ready for a break from the toddler. No matter how sweet she seemed to be. Her guess appeared to be correct as Lucia noted the subtle way his shoulders relaxed in relief at her offer in spite of his gruff assertion that she was ‘no trouble’. Hiding her slight smirk, Lucia simply joined him in silent contemplation as Aymeric finished the entire picture book - twice by demand of Yasha - before she cleared her throat and suggested that she needed some ‘help’ disposing of some fresh peach custard in the kitchens and could the little girl perhaps aid her with that.

Estinien watched the door close behind them before he allowed himself to relax, tugging over the chair beside Aymeric’s bed and sinking down into it with a soft groan as his husband chuckled. “If I didn’t know better, I would think you more vexed by a toddler than by any dragon you ever faced. Are you certain you don’t wish to have Francel take over her care again?”

His question earned a faint scowl and a shake of Estinien’s head as the dragoon once more stubbornly insisted that it was fine and did Aymeric truly have so little faith in his ability to do something so simple as care for a child? Acknowledging an argument lost, Aymeric raised a hand in surrender as he shook his head and smiled. “Not at all, my own. I simply meant to ensure you were comfortable. Yasha certainly seems to be.”

“She will not remain sleeping in her own bed.” Estinien growled as he scooted the chair closer and gingerly took the hand that Aymeric reached towards him. Threading fingers through his husband’s with a gentle squeeze, he elaborated upon Aymeric’s confused look. “I have prepared her a room in one of the guest chambers, yet regardless of the number of times I have told her that is where she sleeps, I awake nearly every night to find her occupying your side of our bed.” And no matter how many times he put her back, the child seemed determined to remain close to him. It was disconcerting at best, and frustrating at worst. What if he rolled over on her? Granted, he wasn’t Aymeric who couldn’t go ten minutes without shifting position in his sleep, but still… she was so much smaller that he feared he would crush her in his sleep. And what if he had a nightmare and lashed out and harmed her?

“Perhaps she fears the dark?” Aymeric suggested with a raised eyebrow, cocking his head to the side and chewing his lower lip in thought. “She _is_ quite young, and many children fear the night.”

“She has a light to banish the darkness.” Estinien retorted, glancing away in what seemed almost to be embarrassment as he continued. “I...purchased it for her.” He didn’t mention that the light wasn’t only a light, but a small lighted model of a Xaela encampment that he had stumbled across in the marketplace. And while a portion of his mind had remarked that it was a foolish gesture, he couldn’t help thinking of his own long lost home of Ferndale. While he had been older, and Yasha’s home still existed...it had to be difficult for her to be so far from everything she had ever known. Perhaps the little model would offer some degree of comfort. Comfort that he himself had no idea how to give. And so before he could talk himself out of it, he had paid for the trinket and stowed it away with the remainder of the items he had purchased from Francel’s list. Aymeric watched the play of emotions across his husband’s face, silently reminding himself to ask later; there seemed to be some manner of a story there.

“Then...mayhaps she is lonely?” That was the more likely answer, in Aymeric’s opinion, and he guessed that Estinien likely also knew it. Though his husband was like to avoid even the idea of it in favour of any other possibility. Which he did as he gave a hmph and white brows drew together across his forehead. “That is foolish. The night is for sleeping, she would not be lonely if she slept as she is meant to.”

There was something else there, something else that had been weighing on his husband’s mind these last few visits and Aymeric stayed silent as he watched Estinien inwardly struggle with himself. Trusting that if whatever it was weighed as heavily on the dragoon as it seemed to...he would voice it soon enough. Squeezing Estinien’s hand, he gently circled his thumb against warm skin as he continued to wait and soon enough his patience was rewarded when his husband’s shoulders sagged and he let out a soft sigh before speaking. “It was a dragon, Aymeric. That...killed her parents. A twelves-damned dragon, and I… I didn’t know, and I came back from the markets and she was trying to stab a drawing of one with the poker and wearing my helm and… I _can’t_ , Aymeric. I _can’t_ let her turn into me, into what I once was.”

It tumbled out in a ragged maelstrom of words and all that he wanted to do was to pull his husband onto the bed with him and try to soothe away the anguish and fear and guilt that he could hear colouring Estinien’s words. But the taller man resisted his attempts and so Aymeric settled for wrapping both of his hands around Estinien’s to press gentle kisses to knuckles in an attempt to ease. “It’s alright, love… I understand, I do. I can’t imagine how difficult it was for you, seeing that.” He didn’t question that his husband had seemingly left a toddler alone in their home with a fireplace poker - not only because it was somehow unsurprising but also not the current issue - and instead focused on Estinien’s troubled expression as he raised a hand to gently cradle his husband’s jaw. “And I can only assume that you’ve taken it upon yourself to teach her...am I right?”

Estinien’s frankly miserable look deepened as he nodded before raking a hand through overlong bangs with a frustrated growl. “Of course I did, what else was I to do? What else _could_ I do? And that is the problem, Aymeric. I know nothing of teaching a child, I am the worst possible mentor for her and yet… I am the only one who _can_ teach her, and I… what if I ruin her? What if I can’t do this?” As he spoke, the frustration in his voice bled away to leave only insecurity and doubt and this time he didn’t resist as Aymeric tugged him halfway onto the bed to comb tender fingers through his hair and press a soft kiss to his head.

“Peace, beloved… of course you can do this. Who better than you? Who knows better than you the burdens that she carries? And as you have told me before, you are not the man you once were. Not the man you might have been had friends not shown you the truth you couldn’t see. It is because of that, because of the trails you have suffered and survived that you will be able to teach her not to lose herself to vengeance and hatred.” Aymeric continued his gentle stroking of white hair for what seemed like hours as Estinien simply remained silent. Thinking, he knew, as he’d experience with this sort of silent husband and Aymeric allowed him the time to think and mull over what had been said before he spoke up. Gently changing the topic as he idly combed fingers through hair.

“I may have a solution for the issue of her sleeping. Perhaps instead of one of the guest rooms… allow her room to be the one that is currently my study. As it is connected to our bedroom, perhaps that extra degree of closeness will soothe any loneliness that she may be suffering.” He chuckled as he pulled back to grin at his husband. “It will also make it more difficult for me to, how did you put it… ‘sneak out of the twelves’ damned bed at all hours to do paperwork’ if my study is at the other end of the house.”

Though he didn’t voice it, Estinien was silently grateful for the change of topic and he snorted in amusement as he raised a skeptical brow at his husband. “You do enough work during the day already, you ought to be sleeping at night.” His expression softened as he cocked his own head to the side. “I suppose that arrangement would make sense. Especially as I am to be training her, it seems likely that she will be with us for some time and that would make things easier. Even though this is only a temporary arrangement.” That was...something else that he would have to discuss with Aymeric, but he intended to put that conversation off as long as possible. The girl was becoming incredibly attached to them both, and when Aymeric was well they would need to discuss her continued care. Sending her back to the orphanage was out of the question; she’d already been tormented once and his husband had nearly died because of it so he wasn’t about to let that happen again. And finding someone in Ishgard to take her in…

His musings were interrupted as the door swung open again and Lucia returned with Yasha, who gleefully darted over to present him with a small bowl of custard while proudly declaring that she had ‘made it for papa’. As Lucia mouthed ‘just play along’ over Yasha’s head, he rolled his eyes and nonetheless made a show of congratulating her on her achievement - which wasn’t hers at all - before grudgingly allowing her to shove a spoonful of the custard into his mouth. Her quest seemingly fulfilled, she allowed him to finish it himself before he got to his feet and scooped her up onto his back again. They’d bothered his husband enough for the day and he leaned down so he could steal a kiss and Yasha could plant a sticky one on Aymeric’s cheek before slipping back out.

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